Half a year has passed.  I still don't see much improvement in myself.

Though I do like exploring, feeling the city alone, but I also need some close friends to explore with me sometimes.

I just don' have faith in myself and the friendship I have built since I was in London.  We did experience happiness, but just for a very short time.

Is it because I am not from your country?

It's a bit helpless sometimes. There are tons of Singaporeans and Malaysians here, they have lots of choices of friends.  In this case, what am I, a girl from Macau, to them?

It's a bit sad, when you found that they have all found housemates who are from their own country and never ever asked you to join them next year.  Do I have a choice? No, my only choice is to stay in the hall again next year, while all of my friends will have their own sweet home, have a place to invite other friends for party or whatever.

Is it my problem?  I really have no idea.  I just want to retain some self esteem whenever they ask me "Becky where are you going to stay next year?" or "Becky are you travelling anywhere during this holiday?"

I don't mind staying in hall again but I am just afraid I will then lose contact with all of you next year while all of you will have moved out.

I cherish our friendship, but do you?

Another thing is, you seem not to accept who I am.

I really don't know what I can say.

It is just love.

Because of you, I want to buy all the most beautiful purple flowers and things on earth.

This is what colour means to me.

I once liked a person who liked sky blue, then sky blue came into my sight.

I once liked a person who liked yellow, then yellow came into my world.

I now like a person who likes purple, I just want to colour my world with purple, decorate it with purple blossom, wrap it with my heart and then give it to this person.

I am a dreamer.